Just in awe today at how incredibly mean some people can be. At the same time, it amazes me how giving and loving others can be. We all go through things. Today, there is a thing. As I question where I am and how I got here, I’m filled with overwhelming gratitude for the resources at my fingertips. While I recognize the many blessings in front of me I also want more. Not more material things- less of those actually- but more freedom, experience, love, peace, hope, joy, kindness, goodness, patience, self-control …I want to be one of those people who are so giving and loving towards others as they go through things. Sometimes, no matter how much love consumes me (the agape kind) one mean person somehow can have the power to make me question why? Why is it that the first stab taken is always the “and you say you’re a Christian” One? Am I that bad of an example? Does my light not shine? I guess there’s that fine line between where you can be an acceptable Christian – not too wacky- and a crazy one. I want to be the crazy one. I want to be on fire for God because when my day comes I don’t want him to say I didn’t know him or that I was only lukewarm. So maybe, just maybe- the mean people are there because we are called to suffer as Christ suffered but to yet be content in all things. Or maybe, it’s the Holy Spirit in me telling me it’s time for change. Still, I will be me. The giving and loving me. Even when I’m going through. I already know I’ll get through. I already know I win. I know who I am. So as sad as it makes me that I can’t live up to whatever expectations others have placed on me, I am joyful at the painful trial I am suffering. It is producing in me more love. Maybe that love just isn’t meant for you.