I understand. I know how badly it hurts. How it feels to scream inside but no one can hear you. I know the confusion, the anger, the worthless feelings. I know what it’s like to hurt so bad that you cut yourself because you could never imagine hurting someone else. I know how it feels to hate who you are so much that you don’t want to live. You don’t see the point. You think you have nothing to offer this world and everyone would be better off without you. You lie and say you’re fine because no one really cares – or so you think. I want to tell you that you’re wrong. I want to tell you because no one ever told me.
I wish someone had told me I was beautiful. You are beautiful. You think you’re fat. You think you’re ugly. You think you could never be good enough, but the truth is that you are amazing! You are so pretty and probably in the best shape of your life right now. When you smile and exude confidence it makes you look even hotter! You are different and that’s ok. God created you to be you and no one else. High school just puts all this pressure on you to be like everyone else. The truth is that everyone in high school is struggling. Those girls that make fun of you, they’re just jealous! You make them feel inferior.
I wish someone had told me there was a purpose for my life. There is a purpose for your life! God has a plan for you that only you can fulfill. Plans to prosper you and not harm you to give you a hope and a future. That emptiness you feel inside can only be filled by your creator. All you have to do is ask! Ask Jesus to come into your heart and mean it and He will. The hole will be filled and He will heal you. There is hope. Stop cutting. Stop starving. Stop hating yourself because if you end up in a mental institute you will regret that for the rest of your life. That “crazy” stigma will follow you. You can overcome this! Get on your knees and ask the only one who can help you to help you now! He says we are of a sound mind. That means crazy has no place in you. You can be healed.
I wish someone had told me to stop pushing people away. Stop pushing people away! Your parents aren’t perfect. They’re human. They probably don’t know how to handle this. It’s hurting them so much more than you know. They love you. They would be absolutely devastated if they lost you. Let them help. They don’t know that you’re pushing them away and acting like a complete terror because you’re in so much pain. They probably just think you’re acting out and being an irrational teenager.
I wish someone had told me that my boyfriend wouldn’t fix it. He won’t! He cannot love you enough to help you. And he shouldn’t have to. You need to be whole and healthy before you can ever have a relationship that will fulfill you. I wish someone had told me to not even date until after high school. I wish I would’ve understood that there are reasons for God’s “rules” like not having sex before marriage. I know you want that and you want to feel desired and loved but I promise you that, even if you’re in love, that boy will not be able to fix your pain. He will make it worse. He won’t mean to. But he will hurt you. Sex belongs in marriage because two souls become one. You will never forget that boy or fully get over him once you are one with him. If he really loves you he will wait! If he doesn’t, he is not worth your time. God doesn’t punish us for our actions but we live in a broken world and there are always consequences for our actions. We reap what we sow. If you sow into premarital sex you could reap a baby or a STD. Honey, love yourself enough to sow into your future. I wish someone had told me that.
I want to tell you to follow your heart. Do what makes you smile. Go on as many trips as possible. Meet new people. Learn a lot. Not what school is teaching you but learn about what interests you. Love yourself, laugh, have hope, find a youth group or a church that you can belong to. Walk in love. When I am really sad I do something nice for someone else. What I never realized was that being suicidal is selfish. Get yourself off your mind! This world needs you. There’s a purpose for your life. Go find it!