I can say with complete honesty that there’s really not much I fear. I use to have a lot of fears. I was afraid of bad things happening to my kids, getting a serious illness, heights, spiders, and small spaces. The Bible says 365 times that we shall not fear- one time for each day of the year! I guess this is pretty much etched into my soul now. I speak positivity, life, & health over every area of my life and I know God is protecting me. However, for the blog challenge I was supposed to think of my top 3 fears so I spent all day thinking about what they were.
I have to admit that I spend a lot of time thinking about this. My biggest fear is the apocalypse. More specifically, end times as listed in Revelations. If you don’t know this about me I am really into conspiracies because I really don’t think most of them are theories. There’s at least some truth to them. So I spend time researching ways in which the world will end and how to survive it. Yes, it’s written in Revelations how it’ll all go down and I know I’ll win. We win. God wins. But what I fear, I guess, is the 3.5 years in which the antichrist is reigning and the rapture hasn’t happened yet. If we refuse to take the mark then we could be murdered. Maybe I shouldn’t think about this but I do. It’s my biggest fear. Especially because I honestly think the end times will happen in my lifetime.
My second biggest fear is similar to the first but just God. I guess that’s a good thing. I love Him. I know He gives us grace because of what Jesus did, but I also fear Him. We have free will and Grace or not there’s always consequences for our actions.
My third biggest fear is not seeing the ones I love spend eternity in heaven.
What are your top 3 biggest fears? Please comment and let me know. Thanks for reading!
Maya Angelou said, “If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.” I saw this quote tonight and I started thinking about all the negative things people have been saying lately. I decided I don’t care anymore. I don’t care what anyone thinks because my mistakes are mine and I fully own them. My mistakes granted me wisdom and knowledge and fun even. I’m not sure who said “A mistake is only a mistake if you fail to learn from it.” but I have lived and I have learned. I am satisfied with my mistakes because along with them I have gained so much more. If I hadn’t taken the risks, I wouldn’t have experienced.
I have done so much in the fist third of my life. I have met so many amazing people from all walks of life. I have been to every state (except Hawaii… sore subject Uggh). I have been to only eight nine countries but I have every intent on visiting more. I have backpacked in the Rocky Mountains, climbed a mountain, swam in the ocean, laid under a Palm Tree, danced until my body hurt, and flew a plane. I have laughed so hard that I cried. I’ve cried so hard until I laughed. I’ve loved. I’ve lost. I’ve experienced motherhood. I’ve felt true joy. And I found God.
So when I ponder my mistakes and I wonder if I’m about to make another one, I remember that they’re not really mistakes, they’re lessons. As long as I am doing what I know in my heart to be the best thing to be doing, then I trust God and accept the grace that Jesus made available. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and He will direct your path.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)
I’ve made mistakes. No, I’ve learned lessons. Lots and lots of lessons. I embrace these lessons, this life, these experiences because they make up what is my crazy, abnormal life. It is my life. I live a life to be grateful for.
I was pondering on what to write about tonight. I guess something that really bothers me, being in a blended family, is that my home just does not fully feel like mine. I’m not sure it ever will because I will always know that I wasn’t the first wife to inhabit it. There are some things though that can make it feel more like mine. I decided then to do more of a picture blog tonight.
I quit using all chemicals (slowly but surely) officially two years ago I’d estimate. That means I make my own laundry detergent, deodorant, shampoo, lotions, cleaning products, etc. Therefore, chemicals do not touch my kids and do not reside in my air. I am also big on plants. I love houseplants! They make me happy but they also clean our air. We live in Michigan so most of the year, our windows have to be closed. So I bring the outside in. I use essential oils for air fresheners.
I’m super artistic so I love my own artwork as well as my children’s artwork posted around the home.
I love quotes and inspirational Bible verses. I feel like they’re a great reminder of things I want to remember anyway. So I put them all over my house.
I love taking photos and looking at photos of good times. I also think that it’s a positive thing for the kids to constantly be reminded that they belong in this family and that we have had so many great times as well.
I am a big fan of bright, bold colors! (Although I HATE yellow- that was not my doing.)
That’s it. short and sweet. I hope you enjoyed the mini tour of my home. Please comment on ideas you have for making a house a home. Have a blessed day!
House Plants to Clean your Air
Just in awe today at how incredibly mean some people can be. At the same time, it amazes me how giving and loving others can be. We all go through things. Today, there is a thing. As I question where I am and how I got here, I’m filled with overwhelming gratitude for the resources at my fingertips. While I recognize the many blessings in front of me I also want more. Not more material things- less of those actually- but more freedom, experience, love, peace, hope, joy, kindness, goodness, patience, self-control …I want to be one of those people who are so giving and loving towards others as they go through things. Sometimes, no matter how much love consumes me (the agape kind) one mean person somehow can have the power to make me question why? Why is it that the first stab taken is always the “and you say you’re a Christian” One? Am I that bad of an example? Does my light not shine? I guess there’s that fine line between where you can be an acceptable Christian – not too wacky- and a crazy one. I want to be the crazy one. I want to be on fire for God because when my day comes I don’t want him to say I didn’t know him or that I was only lukewarm. So maybe, just maybe- the mean people are there because we are called to suffer as Christ suffered but to yet be content in all things. Or maybe, it’s the Holy Spirit in me telling me it’s time for change. Still, I will be me. The giving and loving me. Even when I’m going through. I already know I’ll get through. I already know I win. I know who I am. So as sad as it makes me that I can’t live up to whatever expectations others have placed on me, I am joyful at the painful trial I am suffering. It is producing in me more love. Maybe that love just isn’t meant for you.
#poetry #randomthoughts #thistooshallpass
During my time studying and praying yesterday I felt the urge to just start writing. This is what I wrote down. It was from God and I felt I should share.
Who then is the man who fears the Lord?
I fear you, Lord!
You will instruct me in the way you choose for me
I will spend my days in prosperity
My decendants will inherit the land
The Lord confides in me because I fear Him
He makes His covenant known to me
My eyes are ever on you
He will release my feet from the snare
Turn to me and be gracious to me
for I am lonely and afflicted
The troubles of my heart have multiplied
Free me from my anguish!
Look upon my affliction and distress
and take away all of my sins
See how my enemies have increased and how fiercely they hate me!
You guard my life and rescue me
I won’t be put to shame because I take refuge in you
May integrity and uprightness protect me because my hope is in you
Redeem Israel, oh God, from all their trouble!
“In this world you will have trouble but, take heart, I hsve overcome the world!”
I am coming back soon.
If my life is predestined and you already know what I will do-
I know you’ve choosen me so I can’t undo what you already knew.
Jesus is my savior because I am so unworthy.
I’ve made so many mistakes that I should be eternally separated from God
But because Jesus died for my sins I can meet God!
I have power!
I am overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of His testimony!
If I make a choice unfavorable to you then I am reminded:
Your anger lasts only a moment but your favor lasts a lifetime!
Weeping may remain for a night but rejoicing comes in the morning.
Free me from the trap that is set for me for you are my refuge.
Into your hands I commit my spirit
Redeem me, oh Lord, the God of truth
Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech- he must turn from evil and do good!
He must seek peace and pursue it.
For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.
God knows your reputation. You think you’re alive but you’re dead!
Strengthen what remains and is about to die!
For I have not found your deeds complete in the sight of my God.
Remember, therefore, that you have received and heard.
Obey it and repent!
But if you do not wake up I will come in like a thief, and you will not know at what time I will come to you.
If you are worthy you’ll walk with me dressed in white.
I will never blot out your name from the hook of life but will acknowledge your name before my father and His angels.
Sometimes I sit and evaluate,
what will happen before i see the gate?
Will i be satisfied by what’s on my plate?
I’m not sure I’ll like the taste of what I just ate.
The one I’ve become can’t nobody appreciate.
When I speak my mind it seems to breed hate.
I have all these ideals but only one who can relate.
Step outside the box- they can’t navigate.
But my God has shown me where to gravitate.
Just a simple thought can invigorate.
But if anyone knew they’d be irate!
A life of abundance sounds so great.
A hope and a future is worth the wait.
I need the desires of my heart, it’s my fate.
I’m not living this life for you- get up to date!
He knows every hair on my head, every trait-
Influence kids, love deeply, lead, & create.
Sometimes I wonder if my “desire” is really the devil’s bait?
The one thing missing is my soul mate.
Timing is everything, is it too late?
Sometimes I sit and evaluate-
What will happen begore I see the gate?