I just had my 29th birthday. Again. In light of the big event I guess I’ve been thinking a lot about my accomplishments in life or the lack thereof. I started to think about all of the things I dream of doing and all of the desires in my heart. I want to learn to fly airplanes. I want to really do something to impact humanity in a positive way. I want to travel the world. I want to work in an orphanage in Africa. I wan to backpack through the mountains (again). I want to publish a book. I want to motivate others to be the best versions of themselves. I want my children to obtain all that God has planned for them too.
Then, I started to think about the things that I feel most proud of in my life. Ironically, these are the same things that the most important people in my life look down on me for. Why is it that our family is often the most draining? Why do they hurt us the most and not believe in us? I am almost certain that it’s not intentional. Nonetheless, it hurts. I’m a grown woman and I still want my parents to be proud of me. I think everyone does. Yet, the things they are most proud of are the things that bore me the most. I have somehow conformed to this mundane life of mediocrity in order to keep everyone around me “proud”. Or are they? Or do they only voice their opinions of distaste and never their feelings of fondness?
Did you know that Jesus was discouraged by his own family? The greatest man on Earth with the biggest purpose of all said “A prophet is not without honor except for in his hometown and in his own household.”( Matthew 13:57) He also said his own brothers didn’t believe him. (John 7:4-6) He even went so far to ignore his family when they tried to talk to him while He was teaching. (Matthew 12:26-50) I know that the plan for Jesus’ life was ordained by God. He had a purpose that was bigger than everything else. So I’m wondering, did God place these desires in my heart? If He did then He will help me walk them out right? Philippians 2:13 says that God does plant those desires within us. He also says in Psalms 37:4 that if we delight ourselves in Him He will give us the desires of our heart. So my desires inside can be devised by me but are ordained by Him and He will help me to fulfill them. (Proverbs 16:9)
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought to myself that I should just give up so I quit making mistakes. That way everyone can be proud of me and I can fit in with everyone around me living out the “american dream”. I was reminded of a quote I heard once and I’m not sure who said it but it was something to the effect of “It is easier to pull someone down the stairs than to drag someone up.” Sometimes, I think, because people don’t dream or think or strive to do more with their lives they can’t understand why you want to either. Jim Rohn said, ” You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” I believe there is a lot of truth in this. The Bible backs it up too. Proverbs 27:17 tells us “as iron sharpens iron one person sharpens another. But it can go the other way too according to 1 Corinthians 15:33 which says, “bad company corrupts good character”.
So my dreams and desires matter because they are ordained by God. The people I spend my time with matters because they will influence my ability to either grow of shrink. I also thought it was important to remind myself that dreams and desires aren’t fulfilled overnight. Joseph had to wait 15 years, Abraham 25, Moses 40, and Jesus 30 in order to walk out the purpose for their lives. Just because it’s not happening right now doesn’t mean there isn’t a plan for what is happening. As I was reflecting on these thoughts, my kids called me to the window to check out the amazing rainbow which an absolutely perfect reminder of his promises. Thank you, God. Selah.
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